"Lestat" The Final Chapter

Those of you who have been with me since the beginning, have hopefully enjoyed the letcherous (I can't spell and blogger's spell check sucks) and temperamental Lestat, who graced my life with evil and horrid acts of devious treachery in 1998-1999. If you are just joining my blog, you enter this story now at the end, so I encourage you to start at the beginning.

Eight years later, I was inspired by a fellow blogger friend, to start my own blog. I knew I wanted to write about all the men I have loved. I was inspired to start with Lestat, which took several chapters to write, given the juicy details of what happened between us. It was a landmark relationship that has rippled effects through my life since that time.

Revisiting those events for the purpose of writing the story has been bittersweet. While writing the various posts, I felt some of the old feelings, as memories, that I have not felt in many years. However, I was much more entertained by writing the story with the humor and understanding I have now. When I talk about Lestat these days, I am usually laughing at all the outrageous things he did. And I laugh at myself for putting up with him as long as I did.

A funny thing happened when I wrote the dream post. I had a new sense of relief that I didn't expect. You see, actually putting in writing some of the positive things I learned from that relationship created a sense of upliftment. It was as if I had risen above the situation and could see more clearly, with love, what I had to gain from that time with Lestat. I guess I didn't realize consciously there were still things to let go from this relationship - until I wrote that post and felt the unexpected relief. This is one of the benefits of journaling, no doubt.

For several years now, I have not spent energy thinking about, or reflecting on Lestat. I just wanted the experience behind me. However, writing about it now, gave me a chance to see things from a different point of view. Again this was an unexpected benefit of writing about it now. I had no idea.

If I were to write Lestat a letter, or ever see him again now, instead of recoiling in horror and running for the hills, I would be able to express gratitude for the learning. I would not "thank him" (because I still think he is a bastard) but rather I would feel grateful--secretely, and inside. I would not be full of hate or anger or murderous impulses directed at his vampiric neck:)

I consider such an experience as "training" for other life challenges down the road. I know it will lead somewhere, to something significant, where I can look back and say, "See? That is why I had that experience - to prepare me for this!"

I wonder though, about my other stories, as most of them will not be of such treachery. Most of them will be funny, and quite a bit shorter, and with a lot more sex. A few of them, like my "Sexcapades Through Italy" and my two years with the "Persian Prince", will no doubt take a few chapters to tell. The others will be quick one-posters, as most of them were quick relationships. Ah, the life of a single gal.

Thanks for being with me so far, and I hope you stick around to hear about the Other Men I've Loved.