Hey, if you want to come to the other side...

My full blog is elsewhere. If you want an invite leave me a comment here with your email address (I won't post the comment).

Yours faithfully,

Blue

I am No Fashionista, But I Know What Looks Good

By special request, I am making this post public. If you want the back story (or any other story) you will have to subscribe to my other blog.

Men, this post is for you. And ladies, if you agree with me please say so, because some of the men who are guilty of these fashion faux pas may not believe me. At the tail end of this post are some pics to give you an idea what I am talking about.

First if you are a little heavy (or obese like El Bloberino) there are certain things you should never do:

1. Never wear a shirt tucked in. It accentuates your blobby belly. It frightens us when we see a prominent gut hanging over your pants. It frightens us and we want to look away. Instead, find a nice T-shirt that you can wear out or a nice button-down that has an appropriate hem-line for hanging out. Trust me. This looks way better then tucking in the shirt!

2. Please don't wear polo shirts. This makes you look old and way too conservative. Again, stick with a nice T-shirt or button-down that is fashionable. And please iron your shirt before you go on a date with us.

3. Never wear a belt with your shirt tucked in if you have a gut. This looks awful. First of all, if a man is going to pull off a belt at all, it should cut across his mid-section parallel to the ground. If your belt line cuts across and angles up in the back, this looks terrible. It makes your butt look like it starts at your lower back. Girls do NOT like this at all. If you are going to wear a belt, wear it under your shirt that is tucked out. On the other hand, if your belt is successfully parallel to the ground and is not hidden under your belly, you can wear cool belts all the time. This looks good with any outfit. But follow the rules on the belt wearing please!

4. Avoid light colored jeans. Avoid jeans that are high-waisted. This is a must for all people everywhere actually, including women. Light colored, high-waisted jeans just make your butt look bigger. They are not attractive at all. They are very 80's and out of style. Instead pick a pair of modern jeans, with a lower rise, that are dark denim. This is much more attractive – even on men who are a little heavier.

5. Please don't ever wear pleated pants. Never never never. Please. These are hideous and make you look fat. If you have to wear these for work (which you don't have to, because you buy your own work clothes, right?) please change into a nice pair of jeans or pants that are flat in the front before you go on a date with us. Pleated pants are old fashioned, unattractive, too conservative, and just don't look good at all. At all. Not even at work. Seriously.

6. Wear a nice pair of shoes. They can be sneakers if they are nice - not fresh -white-just-off-the-shelf sneakers. I mean sneakers which look cool. Please stay away from work boots, hiking boots, tennis shoes or old ratty shoes on a date. Please.

7. Please avoid styling your hair like a conservative republican or Mormon. Even if you are a conservative republican or Mormon we don’t want you to look like one. This means don’t part your hair down the side and brush it over like your mom did to you when you were 5 on picture day at school. This is a very uninteresting hairstyle for men. Look at all male celebs – they have nice fashionable hairstyle. So can you.

8. The worst offenders do all of the above at once. You know who you are.

Men, when you care about your appearance it impresses us. Especially if your physique is not perfect. We like men who know how to dress and make the most of their appearance. We do it for you, can you do the same for us?

Here are some examples of Do's and Don'ts:



As you can see in the above picture, so many things are wrong here. Big gut, accentuated by a belt and a tucked-in shirt. No no no! AND high-waisted light colored jeans???? This is never a good uniform for any occasion. Just throw it away.

Now do you see what I mean about pleated pants??? And the belt that cuts at an angle up to the back??? And the polo shirt to boot???? Men. Come on. You can see this isn't a good look, right? Please stop!

Now we're talking. This man is heavier than the average man and knows how to dress. A very nice button-down that is meant to wear untucked. This is perfect even if you are a skinny little guy.

Gerard knows how to rock a white T, cool jeans and baseball cap. A+. If a man showed up on a date with me looking like this, I would love it. I would be impressed that he knows how to dress casual and still look great.

This is Andrew Garcia from American Idol. I really like his style. Graphic, cool T's with a nice pair of jeans, a belt that fits correctly and even a chain. I love his beanie cap. The only thing I would change would be the color of his jeans. I would make them darker.

Justin is giving a great example of how to be casual and look awesome. Dark, low rise jeans. A belt that is parallel to the ground. And of course a perfect ensemble of T and cardigan. This is a great look for a date.

Johnny is awesome and full of interesting style. Here is he toned down but I like the simplicity. Nice dark blue jeans and a simple black T with a properly worn belt. You can't go wrong with this.

I am in love with Hugh. Anyway, this is a good example of a nice button-down worn out with a nice pair of dark jeans. Casual. Perfect. Sexy.

This is what I mean by a cool pair of sneakers. These are made by Steve Madden. Men, there are so many cool shoes in the world that are casual, comfortable, and look great.

Please. Try out some--if not all--of these tips on your next first date. I would bet you one million dollars your girl will be impressed.

To Any New (and Old) Readers

I have moved to a new site which requires a personal invitation (from me) if you would like to read everything that has happened since Lestat.

If you would like to subscribe to my new blog, please leave me a comment here and don't forget to put your e-mail address in the text of your comment, otherwise I can't send you an invite!

If somehow I have missed you and neglected to send you an invite that you already requested, forgive me and leave another comment here. I will take care of you from there.

I will not post your comment with your email address, have no fear.

Jonathan - I would love to add you, but I need your email address!

Your forever faithful,

Blue

To PAGuy

**You have to manually type your e-mail address in a comment for me to be able to send you an invite***

Hi new friend! You didn't leave me your e-mail in your note...so send me another comment with your e-mail in the text (which I will not post) and I will send you an invite.

For the rest of you - if you want an invite to my new blog, let me know. I will be happy to add you. Leave me a comment here with your e-mail address and I will take care of it from there.

Thanks for reading!

Yours faithfully,

Blue

Subscribe to my new super-secret blog!

Many of you already know that I have moved my blog to a new location. If you want to continue reading, please leave me a comment with your email address (which I will not post) and I will send you an invite.

All the old stories (and new) are in the new location.

If you think you should have already received an invite from me and haven't, please leave me another comment. Somehow it slipped by me:)

See you soon!

Blue

Hey You, From PoDunk

To the person from PoDunk who keeps tyring to access the old stories from this site:

Can't you tell they are no longer accessible? Why are you so obsessed with RD, anyway? Why do you keep searching for that story on this site when it is no longer available?

I told you, I can tell when you visit here. I can tell what time, and your street address.

If you are not interested in talking to me directly about it then why do you keep coming back here to try and find stuff out about me?

To everyone else: if I have neglected to invite you to the new blog, please let me know. I am trying to add everyone who makes a request.

Cheers!
Blue

Subscribing to new blog

JR - don't forget I need your email address to send you an invite!

Please keep commenting here with your email address if you want an invite to the new location. If you want me to add you to my blogroll, be sure to include your url if your profile is hidden:) or send me an invite if your blog is subscription-only as well.

To all the PoDunkers who have been trying to read this blog these past couple of days:

I know who it is running around out there trying to expose me. Well, the damage is done, but not too badly. If you are from PoDunk you know that you no longer have access to the juicy parts of my blog, which is what I believe you are looking for.

You want to see how sick and twisted I am. You want to see the depravity I have allowed myself to engage in, don't you? It's fun to read that stuff, isn't it? So are you going to be outraged and judge me or are you going to acknowledge that you too love this stuff and are intrigued? I have so many readers from AROUND the world. People love this kind of stuff, including you.

But I don't trust you. If you are from PoDunk, and I can tell if you are when you visit my blog, then I will choose to believe you have some mal-intent to expose me or gossip about me. You are free to think what ever you want about me, but take a look at your willingness to engage in this drama that has unfolded these past couple of days. You are contributing to making the situation worse. I have had to do some damage control and when you are out there exposing me then I have no ability to contain the damage. This is between me and the other individual impacted - so why do  YOU want to be involved?

One person has already been hurt by this. Why would you want to add to the casualty list?

If you like my blog, then by all means read it. But admit that is what you are doing - enjoying the juicy stuff as well as everything else! Someone from PoDunk has spent hours and hours on my blog these past couple of days. They are eating it up. So if you think what you read about me reveals that I have some kind of problem, then you do too, because you are obsessed and can't stop reading about it yourself.

And guess what? That means I have done my job well by providing you with hours of intriguing entertainment. So just take it for what it is.

If you want to expose me to people I know around PoDunk, I will just smile and know that karma kicks ass.

Much love,

Blue